5 Tips for Adapting to Small Town Life

So.. you made the big decision to bail out of the city and live your dream life in a small town. Congratulations! Easy, right? Donate your dress shoes to charity, order some plaid shirts and all-terrain boots, trade your commuter car for a truck and an Amsterdam-style cruiser and you’re ready for the simple life. Front porches, neighbors, and farm markets. What could be better?

Somewhere between finding that fixer-upper bungalow on a tree-lined street and unpacking your best farmhouse decor, you’re feeling a little lost. Uh oh. Where is the nearest Target? How on earth will you get Dim Sum delivered at midnight?  Why is there only one network channel coming through on TV? And then there is the traffic; there isn’t much, but people drive slow in the passing lane and don’t use turn signals.

You’ve entered the twilight zone. It will get better, but you’ll need to adjust your mindset a little.

As someone who has made the transition from city to a small town, run away (twice) and came back on her own, I want to give you some tips for breaking in your new town. Relax – you can do this!

1. Slow Down

I know. It drove me up the wall when I first moved away from rush hours, merge lanes and road rage. People are not in that big of a hurry in smaller towns. Some are retired. Some are distracted by how long the line is at Sonic. Most are obeying the speed limit, which is generally 10-20 miles slower than you’re used to. Let it go. You’ll get to where you’re going and without all the stress that comes with that lead foot.

A bike is even nicer if your commute isn’t too far. A painted townie with a basket will start conversations with your neighbors, and it’s more fun than that overpriced gym you hated anyway.

2. Leave The Light On

You’re used to coming home from work or play at the end of the day, closing that garage door fast and retreating to your cave. I get it. Neighbors can be bothersome. Full-on conversations about why the trash didn’t get picked up, or the best new Girl Scout cookie flavor. Small talk didn’t have to be your thing in the city because everyone was too busy. You could always pretend to be on your phone when the guy across the hall or street made eye contact – if he did at all.

Try this instead:  Wave at the neighbors and see what the response is. Smile, and relax. Long-time residents of small towns want to know where you are from and why you chose this place.  Ask a few questions! (Don’t complain about the lack of late-night Chinese take out) Where is the best grocery store? Is there a rec center or pool you can join? What’s the best hiking trail?

If you’re an introvert like me, this might be as natural as dancing on hot coals. When I first moved to town, I wanted to hide out and do my thing for a while. You’ll find that after a year or so of hiding out, you don’t know a soul outside of work, and there is no one to help you when your Amsterdam-style cruiser gets a flat. Try on this new life a little at a time. You’ll find people want the same thing you do. A smile, a wave, and some tire tools.

3. Shop Local

Yes – Starbucks is everywhere, except the tiniest resort towns where they got voted out along with any other chain. What is vital to small-town economies is the support of local businesses. Look for the cool coffee spot that hosts weekly improv theater. Puzzle tables and lending libraries mixed in with thrift-store decor and house-made chai. Doesn’t that sound so much better than trying to balance a life-threatening hot drink with one hand while you navigate the drive-through? Sure it does. How about a record store? Mine the bins for that Clash album you lost after high school and chat with the salty owner who will not hold back opinion on your music selection OR the best Italian food in town.

When you shop local, you are buying from actual people. These are the people who pay rents and mortgages and taxes in your town. Like you, they often left more lucrative jobs and cities with more options, to simplify, work hard and own what they do. The connections are priceless, and if you’re lucky, some of these business owners will become your new friends.

4. Don’t Try to Change Rome in a Day

If you moved from a city, there will be things you miss. Even if you were ready to adopt the small town life and slow down, the first year of “country living” can be a real eye-opener.  Resist the temptation to be vocal about what you wish your new town had, or what you could have brought with you. Newcomers will be happy to bond with you over the limited choices for late night delivery and edgy fashion, but natives might see this longing as throwing shade to their hometown. 

If you’ve got some great ideas for how things could improve, get involved with a city or county volunteer board. Find meetings with local officials and other like-minded neighbors to make change happen. You need to remember though, that change and growth in rural and small towns is a slow process. Be patient, and contribute what you can!

5. Be a Tourist Where You Live

This is the really fun part of relocating and my personal favorite!  Seriously.. Everything is NEW. When you take on the mindset of an explorer, you’ll never stop finding new things to enjoy. Pay attention to local events that are free or off the beaten path. Take your camera along and document everything as if you have to go home the next day.

When you realize, in the middle of a winery tour or hike just a few miles from your front door, that you LIVE here now, it’s the best feeling in the world. Look at your surroundings with the eyes of those who visit on weekends, wishing they could make the move, just like you.

Tell me your story about moving to a new place. I’d love to hear about it!